Maybe This is How the Universe Works

     That night, I ran as fast as I could and found myself lying on a bed of dried dandelions staring blankly at the clear skies, heavily panting. I wasn't there to count the stars or name all my favorite constellations. I just wanted to be alone. Thoughts were running through my mind, a hundred questions began to pop up. I felt unsure. All I know was I am on the verge of quitting but also considering to continue what I have started.

    I thought life was so unfair. I had been through circumstances which was not included in my plans-- I wasn't prepared, I felt unsure.  It came unannounced. Life had given me silent battles which felt impossible to conquer. I didn't like that, I aimed for perfect one.

    For hours I lay on the coldness of the grassland. I began counting the stars. I looked for the Milky Way-a faint smoke-like pattern stretched across the sky. I looked at Luna, smiling shyly on the other side. I saw how the stars, big and small, gave off different colors. I saw how the moon showed only a piece of its whole. Then, I realized how imperfect they are. That even the most beautiful stars stopped giving off sparkles for a split second. There are moments when they were covered by clouds but they still continue to shine despite being invisible, as if they don't care at all. I saw how different they are from each other, in brightness, color, sparkle and distance. And I thought they have silent battles, too. They have no choice but to deal with how the whole universe works, accepting that everything is beyond their control. 

    The clouds gathered above and slowly shed off tears of regret. Thunderstorms made my heart beat fast and I hurried towards home trying to escape from the wrath that nature explicitly showed. As I curled up under the blanket I came to understand why I have to undergo all these struggles. 

    Maybe this is how the universe works. Maybe this is the process--you have to undergo a lot of pain and break yourself into pieces first before you can be whole again. 



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